Adversaries into Allies: Master the Art of Ultimate Influence
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The bestselling co-author of The Go-Giver offers new insights into what it means to be truly influential
Faced with the task of persuading someone to do what we want, most of us expect resistance. We see the other person as an adversary and often resort to coercion or manipulation to get our way. But while this approach might bring us short-term results, it leaves people with a bad feeling about themselves and about us. At that point, our relationship is weakened and our influence dramatically decreased. There has to be a better way.
Drawing on his own experiences and the stories of other influential people, communication expert Bob Burg offers five simple principles of what he calls Ultimate Influence—the ability to win people to your side in a way that leaves everyone feeling great about the outcome. In the tradition of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, Burg offers a tried-and-true framework for building alliances at work, at home, and anywhere else you seek to win people over.
smartest thing we can do. Once you’ve had a chance to consider the situation, you can now, thoughts in hand, utilize the principles we’re discussing throughout this book. While it’s best to handle a conflict before it ever takes root, if a conflict is about to occur, the next best thing you can do is to stop it before it escalates. Often, at the point that someone criticizes, corrects, or otherwise insults you, you have a choice right then and there to think before you speak. Consider
and genuinely respects others will also pay off in big dividends. It might also pay off indirectly, as well. Those who might be deciding whether you’d be good to do business with, or even become more involved with socially, are watching how you treat others. For instance, there are companies where managers observe job applicants in the reception area before bringing them in for the formal interview. When people don’t think they’re being watched, they will behave like they usually do. This
the hole in his head tells us, with tact you can make that point but allow the person to feel good about themselves, making them more open to embracing your message. With empathy, you can understand his feelings enough to know why you need to tell him this. Tact and empathy. They are separate ideas but work hand in hand as the final principle to help you become a persuader and influencer of stratospheric proportion. While we defined tact near the beginning of the book, I also went online
teacher will be much more impressed and your chances of an excellent grade will be a lot better.” Review the above tactfully phrased statements and ask yourself what their untactful counterpart statements would sound like. Then compare the two and consider which way will help you be a much more effective and powerful influencer and persuader. By the way, untactful doesn’t necessarily mean “mean.” It might be simply short and cold (or just not warm), without communicating consideration for
certainly cousins, and to deny that is to deny reality. In both cases, you are attempting to move an individual or group of individuals to think or do something they would presumably not think or do without your influence. Persuasion, like the verb form of influence, is really nothing more than the ability to move a person to adjust their thoughts and/or actions. We influence through persuasion or manipulation—the one being good and the other being evil. When we influence with benevolent or